pick...someone else.

i rejoiced tonight. i rejoiced and praised the stars in the heavens with every morsel of energy and spark of joy i could summon. kellie pickler is gone.

hate doesn't really cover it. goodbye, pickle.

we now have the strongest top five in the history of idol. elliott received the third or fourth highest number of votes. certainly he'll bring it next week, so we must vote accordingly. go e.

i have nothing more to say. i must rest my dialing fingers for next tuesday. vote like yamin it (elliott yamin, for idolliterate readers). peace.


yo momma.

i was watching yo momma on mtv tonight. i heard the following bodacious busts. i thought i would share.

yo momma's so old, she got pregnant and had grandkids.

yo momma's so fat, she went on atkins and wonderbread went out of business.



dropping like...you know.

tonight i herbalized with my brother and he told me i'm exactly like our father's mother, our nan. picture this.

nanny and peepaw were a severely mismatched couple. after 50 years of marriage they would spend their days ignoring each other and their evenings drifting in and out of nasty arguments, peppered with demented verbal abuse. when he died two years ago, she remained with my aunt, until she started crying every time we would take her home after a visit. so my parents built a room in the basement for my brother, and nan moved in. she now mainly sits in a chair in her room. she appears every few hours to make random comments about nothing in between screaming about doors being open. then she trips over one of the dogs.

this is not a woman i am comfortable being compared to.

i tried not to let this outrageous assertion ruin the session. once the piece was cashed, we noticed a fly on the table, struggling to fly. we put it out of its misery and brushed it to the floor with a peter frampton cd case (an act worthy of the chair). then we noticed another. and another. our eyes were then led to the ceiling a mere foot above our heads. there were at least 12 - 15 flys clinging to the tile for dear life, their tiny wings failing. now and then one would drop. right above our heads. are you getting this?
I didn't know you could get flies high. It was a Special Moment.

cheez-its, etc.

this is my first blog.

i just realized how much i love cheez-its. they are crunchy and cheezy (with a z, not an s. there is difference). clearly the best snack food.

if you watch american idol, vote for elliott yamin. go e.

i really have nothing else to say right now. i'm blank.

anyway, welcome to me. peace.