five a.m. and ticking...

many of you reading this are not from lancaster county.

this means that you have probably never eaten a meal which consisted of noodles, bread, pie, and potatoes (the starchy special). you've probably also never had to clean horse shit, or road apples, off of your brand new tires. but most importantly, and unfortunately, you have probably never imbibed turkey hill iced tea.

this sweet, sweet nectar, i am certain, was tapped from from the golden teet of the goddess of morning, which is what you will certainly see if you drink it. it comes in an assortment of flavors, such as blueberry oolong, green, orange, raspberry, peach, southern brew, and, my personal favorite, lemonade tea.

if you are blessed enough to have the chance to sample it, do so, but be sure that it is no later than 12 p.m. otherwise, you will find yourself, as i have, locked in the grips of an all-night blogosphere orgy. it has the highest concentration of caffeine of any beverage known to man. more than mountain dew. more than coke. more than coffee, crystal meth, and adderall combined. among lancastrians, it is simply known as liquid crack.

need i say more?