adopt-a-fuck

all right, i'm way behind the times, but i stumbled upon this juicy piece of shit today during a routine search for signs of human life on the blogs. last march, rep. debra maggart, a republican (shocker) from tennessee (well, bless my soul), stated that she believes that homosexuals adopt children for the sole purpose of molesting them. while it staggers me that, in this day and age, someone could still maintain such a profound level of ignorance of how the gays work, i think she may be onto something. it's really not a bad idea.

think about it.

1) no more working the bar circuit to get laid.

2) after your finished, just chain him back up and have a sandwich.

3) depending on the age of the adopted child, he will remain lithe and completely smooth for approximately ten years.

4) they're virgins when you get them.


5) when he's older, you can rent him out.

not a bad deal. thanks for the tip, deb. but in all seriousness, how stupid is this woman? "we also have seen evidence that homosexual couples prey on young males and have, in some instances, adopted them in order to have unfretted access to subject them to a life of molestation and sexual abuse".

moment of silence.

first of all, in most states, adoption by homosexuals is illegal, so there could not possibly be any studies which support this claim. to be fair, i'm sure there have been instances where children have been adopted to serve as sex slaves. but is this a homosexual-exclusive problem? i doubt it. secondly, pedophilia is a mental disorder that causes behavior which is little more than an extreme power grab. actual scientific studies conducted by smart people in white coats (as opposed to stupid people in red pant suits) show that in roughly 98% of all cases, male child molesters who are heterosexual molest young males. can you see where i'm going with this? yes, there are similar statistics for homosexual males molesting young girls. it's simply not about sex. this woman obviously equates the concept of alternate sexuality with other sexual deviation, such as pedophilia, child porn, bestiality, and good old-fashioned hardcore s+m. nothing could be farther from the truth.

she then goes on to assert that gays and lesbians are unfit to parent because they have “numerous emotional dysfunctions and psychological issues.” well, that's true. gays and lesbians are nuts. you'd have to be to risk your relationships with your family, friends, teachers, co-workers, and society at large to even consider stepping out of the closet with assholes like senator hitler running around spouting venomous lies about "your kind".

everyone has a right to hold and voice their opinions. that's the beauty of america. but we as a nation are fairly divided when it comes to the nature of homosexuality. is it a choice? are you born that way? is it environmental. i'm gay, and i don't have a clue why. i just know that i can't change it, and no amount of legislation is going to make it go away. trust me.

in the meantime, i live in rural pennsylvania and we could definitely use some restrictions on how many children the amish are permitted to breed. the amish family consists of six, ten, sometimes as many as fifteen children, all born to help on the farm. i coordinate the obituary page for the local newspaper, and a significant number of child deaths (at least 80%) are amish kids killed in farming accidents. why are five year-olds driving threshers and combines? if deb wants to protect children, that would be a great place to start.